"You have to start doing things for yourself" he said. How does being in a relationship stops me from that. I have always done things for myself, even before we moved in together. Because I didn't work I had so much more time and he thinks I do nothing all day but wait for him to come home. "You have to stop looking to me to tell you what to do" he said. I don't remember ever looking clueless and asking him to tell me to jump and how high. "I am tired of being responsible for another person" he said. No one asked him to. He took upon himself to make that a responsibility the same way that I made it my responsibility to take care of his home life, love him and made sure he was comfortable at home, I made it my responsibility to stress over him and become overly concerned when he is under pressures. That's what relationships are like. You make the other person your all. I never cluelessly look to him to tell me what to do. I simply ask for his help, advices and opinion. All of a sudden I can't do anything. All of a sudden I am lazy.

"For a person that is under so much stress and so much pressure I shouldn't want to worry about you too" he said. I understand his stresses but I was there to help but he made it a priority to do everything on his own but blames me for being there. He choose to take it all upon himself but then blames me for being a responsibility. I wanted to be an equal.

We could have remember to make the best of our time there in nowhere land. But it doesn't matte now. Everything that we had are now reasons why he doesn't want us. The good and the bad are all reasons to him now. The good is somehow made to be false and the bad are made to sounds as if we never had a chance, that bad was all we had, that we just didn't have anything in common. If you look for shit then you will find it. Everything becomes a piece of shit to him. Our entire relationship became a piece of shit to him because he wanted it to be, so that he could easily bail out and use that as his reasonings. That was clever of him, cold and murderous of him. Who knew he was this cold all along. I didn't see it coming.