Have I told you lately?

Have I told you lately how proud I am of your? I love how you can figure out any math problems, even ones you've never seen before. You are quick like that. You can build advance technology out of anything. You are my only trusted source for second opinions because you always know how to filter out the nonsense. You never know the right thing to say but you always know just what I needed to hear. There's no sugar coated words when you want to get your point across and it works. I need to hear your voice each morning that I wake.

You use to play around with me. We use to wake up in bed together playing and laughing before breakfast. Wrestling and tiring ourselves out before the day even started.You are the only man that I have ever been hopelessly attracted to. The only man that I have ever been hopelessly in love with. Others have gained just a second glance and a chit-chat from me but nothing more. You have always been the one. I have never instinctively and automatically put any other person before myself other than you.

I feel safe with you. You always told me that you wanted to take care of me. You said that you would never leave me and you would never let me go. I felt safe with you.

I miss you.

I miss how you'd ask me to scratch your back for you because your arms were too muscular to reach it. I miss annoying you. I miss how you use to play with my hair. It puts me to sleep every time. I miss holding your hands even though you felt that we were too grown for it. I'd do it anyways and by the time you realized it I had already held it for a while. I love getting excited over SciFi with you. I miss hugging you. You were so tall that I fitted perfectly against your chest. I felt like we could have been chiseled out of the same stone. I miss your soft skin. You know how I can't sleep unless I have my right leg over you. I had to have my leg tangled with yours' otherwise I couldn't sleep. I did that even when I came to bed late.

I feel so out of place now that I don't have you to tangle with. My hand feels bare without you to scratch and rub against. I never go a day without smacking your behind. I never go a night without honking your bum. I miss your bum. I miss your big arms. I miss your face. I miss you. We had allowed these few years to affect us. I want it all back. I want to wrestle in bed with you. I want to wake up late on Saturdays and make you pancake. I want to debate with you over what to do on the weekends even if we don't get to do them. I want to make and break plans with you. At least we were making them together. I am sorry that I was such a pain, an emotional roller coaster. I am sorry that I didn't try enough. I am sorry that we became distant. It was both of out faults. Who knew that we would be apart, I thought that I had the luxury of time to be that way. I want to make it better with you. Now that we knew what went wrong, we now know that we should have done something about it. Let's do it. I thought that it was unconditional love. You got on my nerves and I got on yours. There were always room for improvements and I am willing. I am willing to work on us. It is never too late. These three years had been a bump so now lets get back to us. No matter how I use to express my love to you , you always seem to know how to downplay my words. You are not just a warm body. If that was all I want I would have found warm bodies left and right throughout out relationship. I only wanted you. Like how you said that I am the only woman you want to have sex with for the rest of your life, you are the only man I will ever give myself to. I don't want any other warm body. I only want you.

We didn't 'pause' life. But even if we did, a 'pause' it's just a 'pause,' now press 'play.' I want us back.

Congratulation on your job offer. I know that you were hoping for Texas but it would have been a great move for us anyways. Would have. I am proud of you. You are probably the only person in this economy to have job interviews and offers lining up at your doorsteps. That is a testament to how extremely intelligent you are. The world sees what I see in you. I am proud of you.