Text messages. Good intentions or preparing to break my heart?

Sitting here reading the text messages that CK sent me the week before I came down to NJ. His text didn't fully send but in the first he wanted to say that it was OK if I got lonely in NY with him and wanted to come down to NJ every so often and stay at his parents.

*April 8th *

*1:50 p.m., my cell got "Each time you spend with your friends and family when you are there and how much happier you seem to be and how withdrawn you are when you are here. Not trying to get rid of you, just starting to take notice."

*2:10 p.m. I'm sorry. I truly am. I want you to feel useful. I want you to enjoy life. And that's why I suggested that. Please think about it."

*2:20 p.m. "you're not asking. I'm giving. I think. I am not going to bring it up again because I know how it sounds. But seeing you just sit there everyday because of me makes me hate my life, makes me hate us. For something that is not any of your fault."

*2:25 p.m. "Maybe. You honestly can't tell me that this is fair to you. really.

*2:32 p.m. "I wish you could see it from my point of view."

*2:32 p.m. "I know and believe me I appreciate that more than I show. But in this case compromise has been turned into taking advantage of someone and it's gone too far then you start to hate yourself."

*2:40 p.m. "I wish I knew what to do. All I know is this isn't right. And this time it's NOT your fault."

*2:55 p.m. "Just asking if you wanted some time apart. To feel better about yourself because obviously you are not getting that here with me."

My reply texts weren't saved but I told him that I wasn't unhappy and that this was temporary and I understood what he wanted to say. We agreed that me visiting NJ more often would help since I didn't have much to do in NY. I told him that he wasn't taking advantage of me. I wanted to do my part, told him that since he was the one working that it was only fair that I did all of the households and made sure I took care of him when he got home.

This was all before so much had change. All before he accepted this job offer in Baltimore. This changes everything. I could work. "Feel better" about myself like he said. His new job and move changes everything. We would be moving to the city. I would be working, have my own friends, gain my independent outside-of-the-house identity.

On April 17, early Sunday morning, I knew that he'd be out with his friends. I was upset that he hadn't called and posted on my Facebook "Out of sight, Out of mind. For some absence makes the heart fonder but for others it's a chance for pretense" refer to CK because he never makes time to call or text when I am away.

I wanted to send a sexy text so at 2:31 a.m. I texted:

*"Bachelors are so busy these days"

and he replied, "I guess so."

*"Let me know when you are down in NJ. We should get together for drinks.

"He texted "Yea I can do that."

*"We can come back to my place afterward. I have a kool place on the third floor (referring to the attic, our old room at his parents) where we can hook up."

*He said, "What?"

*"The attic" I said"

*"Oh" He replied and that was the last conversation we had as a couple. Later that day was when he broke up with me via the phone.