Pushed even further

CK's mom came home and I ask her if she had spoken to CK . She said, "no" but that she did talk to him last night. He will be starting his new job in Baltimore on Monday, May 16th. That means that he needs to be looking for an apartment now. We should have been doing that together. Is it truly over, no strings attached. He is truly moving and moving on.

That is only three weeks from now. This is it.

His mom ask him if he needed help moving but he said that he'll figure it all out on his own. A moving company will come pack all of the household items but we, he and perhaps me included, needs to pack the cloths ourselves. He is really leaving me.

I am trying not to cry because I about to have dinner with his mom. She says, "he is under a lot of stress, having to figure all of this out." "He always does it all on his own, he never really includes me in the headache and I never know exactly what to say" I told her. That was my problem, I should have tried harder to involved myself in his headaches but I also wanted to give him space to figure things out. Damn if you do and damn if you don't.

This is really it. Three weeks and he will have officially left me. His job will involve 50% traveling and that will completely leave him no time to ever remember me. Is this really it for me? I have been shut out. How am I suppose to accept that. What is happening to my life? How has it change so fast? Not only has he kicked me out of our home, he is moving. He has a new home without me. I don't know how I am suppose to take that.