I walk and I walk for hours thinking and wondering what happened to my life. One year, he said, it only took him one year of quitting and watching us fail for him to break up with me. One whole year he did nothing but watch and wait. he did nothing to change it. He said that he saw that we had become distant, that the "relationship had died" but if he saw it one year ago but rather waited to see if it got better than to bring it up, he obviously didn't want it to work, He was hoping for it to fail so that he would have a justified reason to break up. If he saw it a year ago and wanted it he would have communicated it to me. It was still salvageable at that point. "I never really wanted it to work" he says. He officially sabotaged the relationship a year ago and admits that he was going through the flow our entire relationship...because I "was the best for him" he said but always one foot out.

He sat and watch us fail and he chose to do nothing. We were both to blame but how can he say that he saw it and chose to do nothing.

I accept that yes it is over between us but I will never accept his reasonings. Never.