What happened to just spending some time apart to feel better about myself? What happen to that compromise? What the fuck happen? How dare he make a life's decision for me. He knew that I didn't get along with my parents so how did he just conveniently forget that and throw me back at them telling me, "go be with your family...they need you." What?! What the fuck does that mean?! How do you know that they need me when you knew that didn't matter. You knew how I've grown past them. My lack of relationship with them didn't matter to me so how could you say that. Just because I talk to my younger brothers now and then doesn't give you the setup for you can use that as an excuse.

That's like me hearing you helping your mom pick out a car or hearing you helping your uncle pick out a computer and then me telling you that you need to go live with them. They may benefit from our 'lending hands' but that doesn't mean that we have to go be with them. We have our own lives. I don't get you! How can you be so obvious with your excuses? You could have made up better excuses, something valid rather than using what we have already overcame and grown from. That would be the same as me telling you that I don't want to be with you NOW because, in the PAST, you USE to mess around when it's something that we have both gotten over because we were even getting ready to get engaged.

How do you do that. Where is that switch that you can easy turn on and off? You have to teach me. Tell me how you can be so cold. Was it a talent you learned or something you were born with? teach me how to not care when you're breaking someone's heart over the phone. I have to say that I have to pat you on the back because at least you graduated from breaking up via texts to via talking on the phone. The first time you broke up with me was through a text message, not at least you called.

Silly me. I loved you. I was happy again. I bought a dress a size smaller and was working out to fit into it. I was going to wear that for you. Fucken silly me. What the fuck was I thinking. You would have probably hated it. You probably would have told me it was hideous. I was happy again because I had a reason to be again. You were going to three interviews and they were interested in you. We were going to move! I was going to be able to contribute to our savings. I was going to wear my new dress for you when we celebrated the job offer. Fuck! Fucken silly me!