Death is peaceful

Sometime I feel like I would rather be dead. I'm not suicidal but I feel that way sometimes. I have friends but I can't involve them in my life, many friends but close to none. I have no relationship with my parents. I am closer to CK's parents than I am with my own. I had gained a family through CK. Now I have nothing. I lost my heart to him. I had made his parents my family. I have nothing now. I have no one. I can't go back home, therefore I am homeless. I am broke, all that I have to my names are my school loans. I have nothing. I belong to no one, not even to myself because I no longer own the heart that use to beat in me. It was teared out of my chest and stoppled on.

I have nothing. I can't even start fresh because I have nothing, no one. People often have a home to go to in order to start fresh but I have no where to start fresh. We often ask why homeless people doesn't just get a job, but it's more than that. You need an address, initial start-up needs money for work cloth, shelter and food. You have to have a bit of something that will get you through the initial phases but I have nothing. I have no one. I am a homeless person with nothing but a whole in my chest where my heart use to be. I sit now in the room that I use to share with CK, far away from the home that CK and I build together, the artworks that I did on my own hanging on our walls. The decorations on the center table that we chose and designed. I have nothing, not even the things that I help build.

I am homeless. I am alone. I have nothing. I am nothing. I have no one to lean on to. I have no one I can ask for help. I am ashamed to ask the parents that I never talk to. I can't tell my younger brothers that are still in school, with no money of their own. I have NOTHING! I have no one. I am completely alone. Broke. Homeless. Nine plus years and nothing to show for. I feel so small. I have no home. I have no parents. I have no friends. I have no one