CK called me about 8 last night. He said that I had taking what he said out of proportion. He said that he wasn't just going to break up with me and leave me with nothing. He was going to give me money and still take care of me. Why would I want pity money from someone that broke my heart. Why should I? I can't accept anything from him now. He has already threw me out. He kept insisting that he owed me. No. He owes me more than money. I don't want his money. I never cared for it. I wanted a happy relationship, to be a family with him. Family was important. I wanted him.

I plead with him, told him that he was wrong, that relationship doesn't just worked magically and that he actually has to want it to work. He finally clarified why he broke up with me. He said that the last three years had been miserable and that he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. He said that I has stopped talking and was just moping all the time and that that had cause him to become unhappy with the relationship. He said that you can't just put a relationship on hold and wait for a move to continue it. That was the way that he had analyzed it but I saw it as a bump, we just happen to be in at a bump in the road. We weren't miserable people, we just happen to be in a situation that we hated. Living in a nowhere town. "The product of our environment." He explained that I stopped living, stop going to places with him, never suggesting what to do or where to go. He said that we had became two 40 year old people that simple existed in the same space. That scared me and I knew what he meant, it had become that way and I hated the sound of it.

I plead with him saying that this was the first time that we had talked about it. He argued that we both knew the problem but why didn't we do something about it. We agreed that we were both to blame and I said that it was not too late to fix it. In order to fix something you first have to accept that it needed fixing and we finally did accept it. I asked him to give it a chance. If it doesn't work then he would have nothing to lose but all to gain if it does work. I plead with him as much as I could trying not to get him excited because otherwise he would stop listening.

He said that he needed more time to think.