Stupid

Silly me. I bought a beautiful and expensive black lace dress to wear for CK once I lost the weight to fit into it. I was going to wear it to celebrate him accepting a new job offer. The dress was my motivation. He was my motivation. I had became happy after our conversation about an engagement and marriage this past February. He didn't understand what I meant when I tried to explain why women always ask if they are the one. I wanted the official word that I was going to be the one that he was going to marry. before that I was comparable to any other girl that he had messed with in the past. I was no different, no more worthy than they were. He ask why didn't the fact that we were living together confirmation enough. It wasn't.

We were watching the sitcome "The Game" one night where Melanie finally got engaged and at the engagement party, a few of the female guests were women that her fiance had slept with in the past. Melanie says" well I don't care, they are nothing because I got the ring, I won." That was what I mean. All women wants to be the one that won. I had been told that I was the one. Now nothing.

Silly me. A beautiful dress and no one to wear it for. A dress to celebrate us moving out of nowhere land.

So this is what a girl hopelessly in love looks like.