If you loved me you would have kept your words. How can you tell me that you love me too much to take the chance with me. How does that make sense? How does loving me too much cause you to not want to take the chance with me. You had nothing to lose. I was the one with everything to lose. I am the woman. I have everything to lose and I lost everything when you decided that you didn't want me anymore. I lost everything when you told me that you just didn't want to be with me. I don't understand how you could use me like that. I am worth nothing to you. You obviously don't care what happens to me. How could you say those things to me? I understood when you said that you weren't in love with me anymore but you also saying that you loved me. We both knew that these three years in the middle of nowhere had strained our relationship but I wanted to move and fall in love with you all over again. If you loved me then you would have wanted to fall in love again. I was working out, I was losing weight, I was excited about moving. I was going to make myself beautiful for our new move. I was going to work and stop being sad, that was the only reason why I was sad, because I wanted to help you but I couldn't find any work. You knew that. You knew it so how can you use that as an excuse? HOW? I don't get it.
I don't get it. I loved you and you were going to marry me. What happen? I gave you everything. I made you my everything. You told me that you would never leave me. We had that understanding. You should have just gotten a gun and shot me in the heart instead. You should have. You have murdered me in the worst way. You have broken my heart. You have lied to me. Why didn't you just kill me instead? I wanted to be there with you through thick and thin. I was there for you each time you hurt me. I forgave you. I loved you. I was so good to you. How can you love me like this. I'd rather you never love me at all than to tell me what you did to break me down. If you loved me you wouldn't have let me go. You wouldn't have kicked me out of our home. If you loved me than you wouldn't have chosen "hanging out" over us, over working on us. I knew how distant we had become but it wasn't an external problem, we were miserable because of where we were, not because we didn't love one another. How can you use that as the excuse to break my heart. We knew that things would change once we moved but you were too selfish. You threw me away for convenience. You left me here to die because you just didn't want to put in the effort. No one ever said that relationship was easy, you have to actually work at it and change what isn't right. You actually have to want to make the change to make it happy. You have to want to fall in love again to do so. You said that you loved me yet you were unwilling to make the time to fall in love with me again.
I really didn't see it coming. How could I have loved you this much to not see what you claimed was coming? Of course I didn't see this coming because you always promised that we'd be together no matter what, despite any problems we'll have, you promised that you'll never leave me and I would never leave you. You promised!
You were willing to sacrifice nothing for me. You were too proud to let loose with me. "That's just how I am" You said. How can you be happy with me when you won't let yourself be happy. How can you fully enjoy my company if you chose to be strict? You prefer to be hard as a rock. You refuse to laugh at my jokes. You refuse to just live. You refuse to accept that I am nothing like you, that I am your opposite. You refuse to accept that we are two people that are different, different is good but you use that fact to separate us. How are our difference a factor, if anything "it's what makes a relationship exciting" like your mom said. You might as well date your brother. He'll look like you and will have more in common with you than I ever will.
If you truly loved me you would have wanted the good and the bad with me. I stood by you through everything and you were always there. What happened? I don't get why you said all the things that you did. It made no sense other than that they were your excuses and no one can change your mind once you've picked your words. How can you be so cold? I just can't understand how. How? We you always this cold and I was blind? You have always had a sarcastic sense of humor but who knew that in actuality you were just cold hearted. Who knew? I guess I loved you too much to see it but I don't think I ever saw you this way. How could I have been so blind. I loved you too much to see that you would just murder me one day. How could you?
You should have shot me in the heart instead. You have ruined me in every way. I refuse to give myself to anyone else. I already gave myself to you. I belonged to you and you were mine to love. It's all gone now. I don't even exist anymore. You have stolen my life from me. I am dead. I am dead. I am nothing but dead.
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