Return of the tears

My younger brother Billy came over after school to see me. I didn't know that he knew about the break up but he had put 2 and 2 together and figured it out. He said that he overheard my conversation with CK the night we broke up. I didn't want to talk about it. Out of no where tears flooded my eyes again. I head it back when I noticed him looking my way. I don't want him to know how affected I am. I am older and should be tougher.

I feel it all over again. I feel this hurt again and all of the sudden the setting sun complimented my mood and the depression is setting in. It's stupid but the dark is killing me. I have never miss CK this much before, I miss him more and desperately than when he use to go on his business trips. This time I was the one that went away. The one that was sent away. Kicked out of our home.

I am suppose to be going jogging with CK's mom again tonight but all that I want to do is go upstairs to the attic and cry. I just need to cry. Billy is sitting here across from me watching TV and him being here is the only reason why I am fighting my tears so hard. I need to just break down and cry tonight.

"Two 40 year old" roommates but we can change that now that we have talked about it. Now that we have agreed that that was what the main problem was. I want us back