I went out walking again today. CK's mom was getting dinner ready and talking about him needed to get a cleaning service for the apartment when he moves, to get his security deposit back. It made me tear up so bad that I waited until she finished talking to tell her that I needed to go out for a walk.

It was dark, about 8. I cried and walked and cried. I waited until my eyes dried enough before coming back to the house. His mom is so sweet. We ate oxtail stew, yummy! I ate a bit and came up to the attic. So exhausted. So hurting still. My head is pounding, my diaphragm is aching. Feels like I've been jump kicked in the chest by CK, might as well since he likes hurting me anyway. He loves seeing me in pain.