He rather throws me out that work on us

I made him read the old cards that he wrote me. I told him to rad it and tear it up. AS he read it it just said, "Aw" lovingly as if he was reminded. We had both forgotten how much we loved one another but he insists that The last two years overshadowed all that we had. He said that it's a timeline where things were suppose to get better and it didn't so he just didn't want it anymore. Even though we now know what really went wrong he just gave up. If the previously seven years meant anything they would have have been ruined by two. He says that it had, the two somehow says what we are now.

I cried and I cried but h is hard as a rock. He kept saying sorry as if it was nothing, Sorry I spill the milk type of apology but he was not apologetic about what he had done to me and to us. Us didn't matter anymore, It hasn't matter to him i since sometime last year. Nothing that we had mattered because he just doesn't want it. He doesn't want to commit.

I understood when he said that everyone gets a chance to find themselves before settling down. We both agreed that I shouldn't have moved up to be with him three years ago like I did. We should have had a long distant relationship like most couple had to do. We should have done that and I would have started a career in NJ the same time he was in upstate NY getting the company's name into his resume. But then again how could we have known that there were no opportunity for me to do that in upstate. I didn't realize that we should have done it long distant until two years in and by then we were looking to move. By then it was probably too late. I was getting stressed over not being able to find a job and my attitude was affecting the relationship. Now there is no relationship.

He kept saying that he didn't want to be responsible for me, that I waited for him for everything. That wasn't by choice. I wanted to contribute. He misunderstand why jobs were important to me. I wasn't stressed that I couldn't find a job. I was stress because I couldn't help out. I didn't want him to be responsible for me. I wanted us both to do it. It wasn't the job but what the job offered us. It's all gone now. He just decided that he didn't want it anymore. Just like that. I told him that yes, moving would fix things, at least 75% of what causes our problem while we would have less stress ans be able to communicate again. So yes, moving will fix us because we would have been moving into an urban area, do more, more jobs, I would be happier that I was working and contributing. He doesn't understand that.

Yes it's unfortunate that we didn't know to do the long distant relationship while working on out career but why break us up just for me to do that. I would have had plenty chance and opportunity to do that once we were in Baltimore. He says that he doesn't believe in me, doesn't trust that I will actually do it. He has no faith in me. He thinks so little of me. Just because I have been living with him and relying on his income believe that I can't do it. I just haven't had the chance and we both understood why. We both knew why I was stressed. We understood so why bring it up as aother excuseHe knows that I have always been independent before we moved in together. I just wanted to stay that way for us, that's why I was stressed. He makes the decision for me telling me that maybe I need to get back to my independence but without him. How does that make sense. Every reasonings that he has come up with has been an excuse to break up just because he is afraid of a commitment. He makes decision for me by telling me that he is breaking up so that I can do X and Y. How does being in a relationship stop me from that. I would have been guaranteed to have more opportunity in Baltimore.

I understand that we didn't each get a chance to focus on our individual career but Why am I being punished for it now. I wanted him there. I could have done it with him there. How does a relationship stop me from that. His career is already in order so that meant that I could then focus on mine. True, we could have done it long distant in the past three years but why should that matter now. He just gave up. He just didn't want me anymore. He threw me out just like that.