My dad said that he had a mild heart attack when he found out that I was abandoned by CK.

I spent the all afternoon and evening at Wilson elementary for the school's talent event. Ms. Smith dropped me off and in the car she ask what I was going to do this weekend since I told her previously that CK will be coming to his parents' house. I told her that i didn't know yet.

For the first time in a while I told her that I was OK. That I accept what has happened. She listed the steps that people take when dealing with heartaches. I am in the accepting stage. It still hurts and I feel betrayed that CK is living in a lavished high rice apartment while I was thrown back into Trenton. He doesn't deserve me.

She told me how beautiful I was and I am starting to feel that all over again now. I remember that I use to always get hit on but I never cared because I loved CK. When Ms. Smith first told me about the male teacher liking me she said, you will never have a problem getting a date because you are gorgeous. I know that. I don't have a problem getting dates but I had problem with a man that didn't want to commit.

She told me that when I was in the hallways tiding up the decorations, Mr. Donaghy poked his head into her classroom after seeing me and grinned at her. She said, "You can talk to her you know" but she said that he was shy. I do appreciate that someone is interested but it's too fast. I have to get my life in oder first. She ask, "if he ask me for your phone number can I give it to him." I wasn't sure but I don't want to miss a possibility of something better, so I hesitantly said, "Yes"

She ask if I had spoken to my parents and I told her that my dad called. She has always known about my family situation and how I didn't have a relationship with my dad. She got teary eyed when I told her that my dad called and apologized for being a bad father. She herself hasn't spoken to her father in 30 years when he walked out on the family. She said that he is a proud man but he loves me.