I went for my walk, jog, early this morning since it was suppose to rain later. I left the house at 11:45 and came back at 2. My legs hurt and my migraine came back. I was starting to fall into my nap when CK's mom got home. She came up to the attic and concern-ly ask why I chose to lock myself up in the attic, that it wasn't healthy. I assured her that I wasn't. I do leave the house but always comes back. She said that she doesn't believe me and is concerned that I may go into depression. I teared up and she said I can see that you're starting to get depressed because your eyes are glassy. She says that I should spend too much time in the room where everything reminds me of CK. I understood but it was the only place that I could get quiet.

She got me up and we went to the kitchen to cook together. As we were heading to the stair she hugged me and said that if I am the one he will come back, if it's meant to be then it will be. I know that. I just need to get through each day any way that I could. I love CK and I do want to fix all the wrongs that we had let happen but at the same time I just have to keep going. It's hurts to think about him having a wonderful new life without me but that's life right? You get screw or you get walked over but at the end of the day you have to pick yourself back up. Life goes on. A third of my life all gone to shit. I have to deal with that and mend my broken heart. He is cruel and I will never forgive him. Life goes on.